09 12 / 2013
a spouse or family member is not a hero for “overcoming” the “adversity” of living with and / or taking care of someone with a disability
it is not inspirational that they don’t abandon them
and we are not adversities to have to deal with and overcome
we are people
09 12 / 2013
One of the biggest widespread mistakes this culture has made in dealing with rape and sexual assault is in the repeated insistence on telling people (primarily women) how not to get raped. Colleges spend scads of money every year on education sessions,…
08 12 / 2013
Okay yeah. I haven’t seen this anywhere else and a few minutes with Google have produced no relevant results. So maybe no one’s talked about this yet? So.
I really wanted to like Kate Elliott’s Crown of Stars series. It’s a huge, hugely ambitious work; clearly a whole lot of effort went into its creation.
It’s not safe for trans women.
It’s really not. There’s exactly one trans woman in it, a Kerayit healer. She’s barely a character. Rarely speaks. We know her only through other characters’ perceptions of her and there is an enormously uncomfortable focus on how unwomanly she is. How there’s something unsettling about her.
[Stronghand] laughed. “What manner of animal are you?” he asked, because this one was like no other human he had met. It was dressed in the clothing and gold and bead baubles and headdress customarily worn by women and it moved with a woman’s mannerisms, as he had learned to recognize them, but it smelled like a man.
Some might argue that the quote above is from the perspective of a non-human character who refers to humans as “it” but that’s not actually the case. When we’re in Stronghand’s point of view he thinks of other human women, notably Deacon Ursuline and Princess Theophanu, as ‘she.’
In a work where physical beauty is terribly important — most of the major characters are at least handsome and many are beautiful — this woman is ugly. No one finds her the least attractive, no one is particularly interested in getting to know her.
She exists as a plot device, the fulfillment of a curse/blessing/prophecy. She dies as the instrument of a major character’s death.
His death isn’t even permanent.
Hers is, though.
Even her name — which I don’t feel like reproducing here — is truncated from a slur used against American Indians who didn’t fit white ideas of gender.
I didn’t want to write this. I’m doing only because if I don’t I think I’ll feel even worse. Through most of the series the references to this woman were annoying but not particularly unusual; I could deal. The last book ripped pieces out of me and left them on the floor. Those parts that were merely annoying are deeply ugly in hindsight.
A warning: I have almost no interest in discussing this. I am not trying to start a conversation. If you want to defend Crown of Stars do it in your own space and stay out of mine. If you try to convince me I’m wrong I will curse your name and block you.
08 12 / 2013
I don’t feel bad for guys who get “friendzoned”
I feel bad for the girls who get harassed for months and are only treated kindly with the thought that the guy will get something out of it.